hapticbackup: (knows itself)
Three non-identical Japanese triplets are so drunk it's even hard for me to see them clearly. Overcome by having to stand in place and pinch the air, the oldest one cries tears of dots. The dots are spheres. The spheres are scrolls! The scroll is a map showing where, in an alternate universe very similar to ours, the largest diamond ever is hidden in one of two suns. Meanwhile, the youngest sister is attacked by a flock of clocks while sleeping off her hangover in a yellow calculator. She stands bereft, but sexually available, in front of a fake window until the third triplet comes to tell her that their other sister found the sun diamond scroll in her tear-dot-sphere. A montage begins, interspersing shots of the three sisters walking under arches with coquettish views of them wearing incredibly geometrical patterns. It's pretty hot, so they fan themselves in rhythm. They stand in place while the walls move around them, like a fever dream or the spins. After fingering a pathway, they fall off a cliff, which looks a lot like trying to ward off bees, if the bees were clouds. Thankfully, their umbrellas land them in a city where they see a huge diamond that is currently performing on stage. However, this diamond smells really bad, so instead they have their legs grow torsos, then their torsos grow legs. Then one sister gives another a blood transfusion, which she in turn gives to the third sister, but the second time it's just love, not blood. This also makes the trio very warm, so there's some more fanning, along with a sign mime about a rabbit that's in love with a fish. They stand in place again while the walls move around them, like learning the truth of a long-held secret. At this point, one can't help but feel the momentum of the adventure begin to flag, though the return of the patterned clothing does lift the sisters' spirits enough to sustain them on a walk through a forest of progressively larger dildo bedposts. In the largest dildo bedpost, there's a door, behind which is the diamond! The map was wrong! The girls quickly split the diamond into three--there's plenty to go around--then are not crushed by a giant falling cheese grater by virtue of standing in exactly the right place, like Aladdin when the tower rolls over him and he stands in the window opening.
hapticbackup: (lunacy)
12 cats is a lot of cats to have, and they all ought to have names. Obviously, the first and second will be named One and Two, but in the vagueness of "...and then get ten more cats," I've left myself a lot of leeway. Here's what I'm thinking:

Third cat: Tree (Is this too twee?? One, Two, Tree. I think it's funny.)
Fourth cat: Fuck You (I'm pretty decided about this one. What if it gets lost though?!? And what about applying for a pet license?)
Fifth Cat: Something literary/historical, because witches and librarians always have cats named Ophelia or Agamemnon.
Sixth Cat: I'm thinking I'll name this cat something like Always Already or The Other. Then I might have to hate it on principle.
Seventh Cat: ??
Eighth Cat: Prague, Algiers, Barcelona, Madras, Auckland, Montreal... I always find lists of cities really inspiring, but once I pick one the name will be a list one item long, and that isn't much of a list.
Ninth Cat: Cooking or Gardening or Watching Television? Maybe Sitting.
Tenth Cat: ??
Eleventh Cat: I feel like I should name one of my cats after one of my Ancestors, but I'm already named after my one grandparent who has died, so unless someone else dies, I'll just have to make do. I could use Might Could, because my Grandmother Doris says that a lot, as in "you might could set the okra on the table for me."
Twelfth Cat: It's hard to pick the last name. Like, what do you name your last child? un+1?

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